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Sample Visitation Procedure

Sample Visitation Procedure

This is just an example and may not be right or your specific case. See also, What do I do when I go to pick up my child and my child isn’t there?

Visitation Kit

  1. Visitation Diary
  2. Two Pens
  3. Twenty Dollar Bill
  4. Stress ball
  5. A copy of your possession order or parenting plan
  6. Camera Phone

Visitation Procedure

  1. 7:00 am: Put my Visitation Kit minus the phone into the glovebox.
  2. 7:30 am: Go to work
  3. 4:45 pm: Start shutting down my workspace
  4. 5:00 pm: Check fuel gauge. Top off if the fuel level is below a half tank, then drive home.
  5. 5:20 pm: Change clothes and relax.
  6. 5:40 pm: Drive to exchange location.
  7. 5:55 pm: Arrive. Write arrival time in Visitation diary.
  8. 6:00 pm: Take a selfie and write down the pickup time.
  9. Leave with the children.
  10. If unable to leave with the children at 6:00 pm, perform the Unexpected Missed Visitation Checklist.

Unexpected Missed Visitation Checklist

  • 6:00 pm: Don’t get emotional.
  • 6:00 pm: Take a selfie without the children.
  • 6:05 pm: Begin reviewing the order. Check common sources of confusion:
    • Is school in session for the district?
    • Is it a child’s birthday?
    • Is it Mother’s Day or Father’s Day?
    • Look for “notwithstanding any other provisions of this order” language
  • 6:15 pm: Begin trying to solve your problem:
    • Text: “It’s 6:15 pm. I’m here waiting for the children; are they ok?”
    • Call the other parent.
    • Call a friend or relative of the other parent to find out if they are ok.
  • 6:20 pm: Get into the car.
  • Take another selfie.
  • Write the time and what you did to try and solve the problem in your visitation diary.
  • Leave.
  • 12:00 pm: Following day. Notify the other parent. “I attempted to pick up the children yesterday at 6:00 p.m. I waited until 6:15 pm and then tried to contact you and your family to find out what was wrong. I left at 6:20 pm without the children. I will reach out to you to arrange makeup visitation at a later date.”

Expected Missed Visitation Procedure

  1. If there is a good reason, such as a child is sick, agree in writing to skip visitation with makeup time specified in the agreement.
  2. If there is not a good reason, agree if you want to with makeup time specified in the agreement.
  3. If the other parent refuses to specify makeup visitation, do not agree in either case unless you don’t want makeup time.
  4. If there is no agreement to miss visitation, follow the regular Visitation Procedure and Unexpected MIssed Visitation Checklist.

See also, What do I do when I go to pick up my child and my child isn’t there?

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In Defense of the Pro Se

In Defense of the Pro Se.

How Censorship Hurts the Poor

Today I will talk about Google’s brand of diversity and how it can harm you. In a previous post, I discussed how politicization of colleges can affect your rights. In this post, I will discuss how politicization of your access to information can affect your rights in as neutral of a way as I can.

It is important to consider what will happen when this hostility seeps into search results.

 

A man was fired to end a discussion.

In case you are unaware, Google recently fired an engineer for writing a paper. The paper questioned whether more freedom to speak freely and exchange ideas could help Google achieve diversity goals. The theme of the paper does not seem to be controversial and it was quite well researched. The engineer claims he offered it to begin a discussion. You can read the paper for yourself and come to your own conclusions about it.

I picked this particular scenario because I have seen the correct advice deleted from a social media website after people complained.

 

Google showed much hostility toward information on topics that some people find uncomfortable. It is important to consider what will happen when this hostility seeps into search results. We already know Google has initiatives on YouTube to flag what it deems objectionable content. Many users are having their content blocked or demonetized for what the users claim are political reasons.

Even people who only watch cat videos need to know their rights-especially custody rights.

The decision to get a paternity test is often controversial to people who do not know the law or who have a political agenda.

 

If I only watch videos of cats, how does this affect my rights? Let’s start with the example of a Suit to Adjudicate Paternity which is a fairly common type of lawsuit in Texas. Generally, the best way to answer this type of suit is with a General Denial (maybe not in your case, but generally). You should get a paternity test even if you are sure the child is yours. Before that you have no guarantees unless you had a camera on the egg to witness the conception. You don’t want to pay twenty percent of your income for someone elses child for eighteen years. Moreover, the child’s real father could return to the child’s life leaving you left out of everything except the child support obligation. These things happen. A general denial is your ticket to a paternity test.

However, the decision to get a paternity test is often controversial to people who do not know the law or who have a political agenda. Some may even find it “triggering”. The type of advice above gets flagged as inappropriate. In fact, I picked this particular scenario because I have seen the correct advice deleted from a social media website after people complained.

Private meets public censorship.

Internet safety filters in schools and libraries block information flagged as inappropriate. What happens when someone who cannot afford an attorney goes to a public library to do research? Or how about when a child or teacher tries to help a parent from a school library with even stricter filters? The filter hides critical information for the party’s own “safety.” That doesn’t sound safe at all.

Rights you do not know about are often rights waived.

 

If you think this gives you an advantage because you are a woman, you are sadly mistaken. That flagged content – not only did it tell the man how to fight a paternity claim, it also included limitations that would torpedo his case. Paternity generally cannot be questioned after four years for example. Sorry, that important nugget is in the same content hidden behind the filter.

It’s even worse than that though. What happens when a valuable authority makes one controversial post and gets banned or blacklisted? Suddenly, access to a treasure-trove of useful knowledge is lost to everyone who might benefit from it. Rights you do not know about are often rights waived. As a result, whichever party can afford an attorney has an even greater advantage over a pro se (unrepresented party) who relies on a censored internet.

The people making these decisions can afford to hire their own attorneys.

Consorship is the great and terrible equalizer.

Censorship hurts almost everybody equally. Men, women, black, white, citizens, and immigrants all need access to all the information to defend their rights. The divide is between the rich and poor. The poor have to rely on access to information on the internet while the rich hire attorneys. The people making these decisions can afford to hire their own attorneys.

I’m not saying that search engines have gone this far yet, but they appear to be on their way. I find it terrifying and so should you.

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Jail for Overpaying Child Support?

Jail for Overpaying Child Support?

In this post I will explain why a Houston man really went to jail for failing to obey possession and child support orders and what it means to you.

News stories are often a source of misinformation. Misinformation from news sources can feed our perceptions of unfairness. Our perceptions of unfairness can get us into trouble. It is not that journalists want to deceive you, but sometimes we all hear the story we want to hear and get stuck in a cycle of confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is the tendency to disregard evidence that contradicts truths we firmly believe or want to believe.

Watch the video below from Fox News Houston. It purports to tell the tale of a father sent to jail for the crimes of paying too much child support and visiting his son too much.

Confirmation bias is the tendency to disregard evidence that contradicts truths we firmly believe or want to believe.

No, You Won’t Be Thrown in Jail for Paying Too Much Child Support.

It is an error for you to be jailed for overpaying child support. Fox News Houston left out that the father owed $2,743.09 in back child support arrears when the mother filed her enforcement. While the case was reset at least once and the father did make his child support current, that was not enough to correct the contempt.

As of June 14, 2013 you can no longer avoid jail simply by showing your child support is up to date at the enforcement hearing.1 The original hearing was set for June 10, 2013, before the repeal went into effect; however, it was reset by agreement to give the father time to pay. Unfortunately, the father had erroneously believed he was up to date before the June 10 hearing and needed time to make one more payment. By the time of the new hearing, the repealed law could no longer help him escape jail.

As of June 14, 2013 you can no longer avoid jail simply by showing your child support is up to date at the enforcement hearing.

The father also tried to argue that the missing child support was the fault of his employer. He claimed that an employee incorrectly entered the withholding amounts from his paycheck. The problem with that argument is that you, not your employer, are responsible for ensuring child support is paid correctly. Your order probably even says this. You do not get to enjoy the benefits of your employer’s mistakes at the expense of your children.

In fairness to Fox News Houston, Snopes also got this story wrong. The Houston Court of Appeals did overturn one violation where the trial court found the father guilty of paying too much child support.2 Unfortunately for the father, the appeals court was able to overturn only this part of the order and leave the remaining violations and the father’s sentence intact.

Yes, You Can be Jailed for Visiting Your Children Too Much.

Visiting your child too much is probably a violation of your order. It is another way of saying you have your child when the other parent has the right of possession. A court ordered parenting plan is written to give children fair access to both parents. Either parent deciding that he should have more time with the children without the other’s permission is deciding that the Court was wrong. Judge’s don’t like that. They also don’t like it if you disrespect the Court by disobeying the Court’s order. If one parent can prove beyond a reasonable doubt the other is visiting his children against orders without permission, a Judge can and often will put him in jail.

How Stories Like this Hurt You.

In my previous post, “When Cultures Clash”, I explain a little bit about cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias in the context of mixed-culture divorce and remarriage. Briefly, our cultures largely define our belief systems. When someone acts outside of our belief system we often see that as bad. Once we define a person as bad, we start to discount everything positive we hear about them and emphasize the negative. Because of this confirmation bias feedback loop, the bad person keeps looking worse and worse in our minds until he becomes the worst thing since Prince Humperdinck.

DILBERT © 2017 Scott Adams. Used By permission of ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION. All rights reserved.

There is already a perception that fathers do not get a fair shake in courts overall. The thing to remember is that no matter how true this might be, it says absolutely nothing about your individual case. At least in Texas, the law is that mothers and fathers are treated equally. There is a standard parenting plan. There are guidelines for child support. There is a presumption against spousal support. Texas’ public policy is to maximize the time children spend with both parents, and judges generally follow the law.

A bad attitude feedback loop can adversely affect how the Court rules for you, but it probably won’t!

If you go to court believing stories like this, and believing you are not going to get a fair hearing, you won’t–at least not in your mind. You will already be emotional because of whatever brought you into court. Because of confirmation bias, every ruling against you is going to feel unfair. The Judge will see your attitude and probably won’t like it. The judge’s attitude might show through, further feeding into your confirmation bias. A bad attitude feedback loop can adversely affect how the Court rules for you, but it probably won’t! Once you ratchet up that attitude, though, it is going to be harder to follow the final orders.

What Should I do?

Always go into Court in professional attire with a professional attitude. Maintain that professional attitude no matter what. Pre-trial, you are auditioning for the trial court. In trial, you are auditioning for the appeals court. Expect the Judge to be fair. A judge can be fair but wrong. Sometimes the judge is wrong because of a mistake that can be appealed, but most of the time it is because your evidence did not support the “correct” ruling. However, because of cognitive dissonance, the losing parent often rationalizes the judge’s decision by believing he is corrupt or has a bias against one sex. This is usually counter-productive.

A judge can be fair but wrong. Sometimes the judge is wrong because of a mistake that can be appealed, but most of the time it is because your evidence did not support the “correct” ruling.

If you are ordered to appear for an enforcement, get an attorney. The judge should give you the option to reset so you can find one at the first hearing but don’t count on it. Get an attorney even if you think you can work out an agreement with the other side. Once you are in front of a judge and facing large fines and a jail sentence, the other side has a huge amount of leverage to get a very unfavorable settlement from you.


1See Act of May 23,2007, 80th Leg., R.S., ch. 1189, § 1, 2007 Tex. Gen. Laws 4054, 4054, repealed by Act of May 22, 2013, 83d Leg., R.S., ch. 649, § 2, 2013 Tex. Sess. Law Serv. 1735, 1735 (West) (effective date June 14, 2013)

2In re Hall, 433 S.W.3d 203, 208, 2014 Tex. App. LEXIS 5704, *8, 2014 WL 2420972

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